yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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