Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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