he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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