She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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