my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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