How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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