Walk of Shame. In a state park.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
