This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
