Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
