Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
literally had 100 drinks last night.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
