"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
