The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
