Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
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