my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I think my moral compass just broke
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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