the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
