She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I supernannyed him into submission
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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