just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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