fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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