Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
