i wish peter jackson would direct porn
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We need to get me chipped asap
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
