you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize