isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize