What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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