the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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