I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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