Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
