I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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