I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
