I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You made out with two different species that night
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
