there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
