I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize