he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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