coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
All the doctor said was why
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
