Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
