we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
