The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
