So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
