I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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