You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
