You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
