Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
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