she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
