Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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