So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
