I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
