NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
