My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
