There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
