dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
