Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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