There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
