She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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