Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
