plz talk dirty to me
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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