I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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