I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize