i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
how drunk are you?
Several
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
