tell your sister to shave her snatch
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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