A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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