i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
