I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
