I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
