i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
